The Death Of Wholesome

“After all your traveling, when it comes time to get married, where do you want to settle down and raise a family?”
The question was sincere and direct; asked by a good friend who always seems genuinely intrigued, even delighted, to hear the unique and often peculiar answers I give to seemingly simple questions.
“The South”, I blurted out without needing time to consider the query. “Austin, Texas maybe, but I’ve always leaned toward Savannah, Georgia” While most people my age haven’t even considered this question beyond a passing thought, I’ve been sure of my answer for at least half a decade. It’s not the sports or the weather or the incredible food that swayed my opinion, although they certainly didn’t hurt. Instead, I explained, my choice was based on three characteristics deeply ingrained into the culture of The South- family, community, and strong values.
My friend turned to me with a puzzled expression strewn across her face and asked “But couldn’t you find those three things just about anywhere?” My honest and unfortunate answer was “No”.
To qualify my answer I need to give you some context. I grew up in a place straddling the line between a small and medium sized town. My street was safe, we knew all our neighbors by first name, there were block parties and barbeques on holidays, and the other kids on the street and I spent our days playing road hockey, manhunt, baseball, and awkwardly flirting with other girls from the neighborhood. Basically, it was the movie “The Sandlot” minus the man-eating dog, and moms in polka-dot dresses…and I loved it.
I’m only 24, so the time I grew-up in isn’t that far behind us. That being said, after spending a lot of time with my army of young cousins and all the summers I’ve been a volleyball and wakeboarding instructor at a youth sleep-away summer camp, I realize the world they are growing up in is completely different from the one I knew.
Busy lifestyles, modern technology, and outrageous media have totally changed the way both kids and adults interact with the world. Drive through a suburb today and you’ll see cookie cutter houses, parents who don’t know the neighbors, and no kids out playing street hockey. The kids are definitely there, but they choose to sit alone in a room and connect with their friends via mindlessly violent online gaming; totally missing the point of playing with friends. Both parents are probably working stressful and draining full-time jobs, inevitably leading to more take-out dinners and less time cooking or gathered around the dinner table. It isn’t quite as bad of a picture as I’m painting, and most families are probably living in relative luxury. The only problem is they seem to be lacking on the simple things. Things like town fairs and playing manhunt until well after dark. Things like having your neighbors over for a barbeque after they helped you build a new deck, or home-run derbys that last all afternoon. Things like asking a girl to a dance in-person instead of through a text message, and smiling ear-to-ear when she holds you hand. So many key elements of family, community, and overall values are absent, and the funny part is: no one seems to notice.
Well I notice.
I notice neighborhoods of total strangers, kids being raised by hired nannies, and 11 year-old girls imitating dance moves from hip-hop videos that are suggestive in ways WAY beyond their understanding, and it’s not okay.
Is The South immune to this degradation of wholesome? Certainly not, and the place definitely has it’s flaws. That being said, the people there fight to keep the ‘simpler life’ alive and aren’t afraid to give anyone their straight-forward opinion. I think there’s something to be said for that, and I think I owe that kind of upbringing to my eventual family.
This isn’t my usual area of interest, but it’s been rattling through my head long enough that I thought it deserved to be committed to paper- even if the pen is digital.
And if you’re reading this and have kids, power-down the laptop and break-out the baseball mitts. Believe me, they’ll appreciate it.

